Elizabeth Farrior (Betsy) Buford

RALEIGH - Civility, art, music, dance, historic preservation, service to others—these tap into what is good in us. They change and heal us. Elizabeth Farrior Buford knew this and dedicated her life to bringing that good to friends, neighbors, Raleigh and the entire state in quiet, wise and lasting ways. When Betsy slipped out of this life after an unexpected and brief illness, she left a great void in the lives of the many who loved her. She left a greater legacy.

Betsy was born to Frances Ardelia Farrior Buford and William Edwin Buford at Rex Hospital on Christmas Eve of 1945. Her father had just returned from World War II when she became his favorite gift of the season.

She was a child of Raleigh. Her great grandfather, David L. Farrior, helped develop western Raleigh and donated land to Meredith College. Betsy attended Fred A. Olds Elementary School and graduated from Needham B. Broughton High School in 1964. She graduated from UNC Greensboro in 1968 and later attended graduate school at UNC Chapel Hill where she became a teaching assistant in the History Department.

The military was an integral part of her history: She was a descendant of both General John Buford who took Gettysburg for the Union in the Civil War and George Pickett who led an infamous charge on orders from Robert E. Lee in the same battle.

It was her father’s commitment to service, however, that inspired Betsy’s life of public service, promoting civil rights, NC history, historic preservation, and the fine arts. She became active in the NC Democratic Party on many issues and campaigns throughout her life, but none more significant than her effort on behalf of the Equal Rights Amendment in the early 1980s. There’s even a sandwich at her favorite restaurant, Side Street, called Betsy Buford’s Equal Time.

In 1993, Governor James B. Hunt appointed Betsy as Deputy Secretary of the NC Department of Cultural Resources with her mentor and friend Secretary Betty Ray McCain. Her soft-spoken determination was ever present, as was her wit. In an interview with former Director of the North Carolina Museum of Art, she recalled when Larry Wheeler commissioned a portrait of Governor Hunt. Wheeler kept one of the submissions that had a real likeness to the Governor and occasionally put it in the backseat of his VW convertible, with Betsy sitting beside it. One day, Governor Hunt asked Betsy, “do you have any experience smoking a cigar?” She answered, “yes, I do, Governor, and I was with you at the time!”

Upon his retirement from directing the NCMA for 23 years, Mr. Wheeler said, “what you see around us at NCMA would not have been possible without great partnerships and the very modest Betsy Buford in its development.”

Her husband of 34 years, Donald G. Mathews, recalled fondly when someone called him Mr. Buford: “No, I kept my name when we got married,” he responded. “I never wanted her to be Mrs. Donald Mathews. I wanted her to be Betsy Buford. There was only one Betsy Buford.”

In 2015 Betsy received UNC Greensboro’s highest honor – the Adelaide F. Holderness/H. Michael Weaver Award for recognition of North Carolinians who have rendered distinguished public service to their community or the state.

Betsy’s positivity and motivation to serve the people of North Carolina was never ending throughout her life.

- In the 1980s, Betsy was an integral member of the group which encouraged the American Dance Festival to move to North Carolina and subsequently served as President of the Association for the American Dance Festival.

- She served as President of the NC Literary and Historical Society.

- She served as the Director of the NC Museum of History and the Division of State History Museums, 2002-2007.

- She served on more than 50 Boards and Commissions and was recognized as a leader through the many awards bestowed on her including: 1990 Arts Award from the YMCA of Wake County – 1994 recipient of the Distinguished Women of North Carolina Award in the Arts by the NC Council on Women – NC Federation of Women’s Clubs’ Woman of the Century – Ruth Coltrane Cannon Award from Preservation North Carolina – Special Recognition for Speaking Out for NC Equity/Carpathian Awards – 1997 Indies Arts Award from Independent Weekly – 2020 Christopher Crittenden Award from NC Literary and Historical Society – 2020 City of Oaks Foundation Trustee. She became the second recipient of the prestigious Bowers Medal of Arts from Friends of the Arts NC State University, Henry Bowers being the first.

In her private life, Betsy was an Auntie Mame to her niece and nephew, taking them on great adventures to New York City and California and also introducing them to the best junk food she could find, including Coca Cola and cheese nabs, Ruffles potato chips and French onion dip. She wrote daily notes to ailing friends, legendary thank you notes, and otherwise lived a life of graciousness and devotion to all she loved.

During the last weeks of her life, even after being put on hospice, she had someone help her set the dining room table with her finest crystal, dressed impeccably, lipstick on, to serve a proper meal prepared by her dear friend Katherine White for her niece, Janice Dance, who drove up from South Carolina to care for her around the clock during her last weeks of life. To everyone who visited during that time, even while in great pain herself, she asked them to take care of her beloved husband Donald.

Betsy will be missed by her husband, Donald G. Mathews; her sister Marjorie Buford Wilkie and husband, Claude Franklin Wilkie; nephew Bryan Maxwell Wilkie and wife, Sonya Davis Wilkie; niece, Janice Lynn Wilkie Dance and husband, Michael James Dance; great nephews David Michael Dance and Connor Maxwell Wilkie; great nieces Abigail Elizabeth Dance and Adrienne Ruth Wilkie. She is also survived by numerous friends and extended family.

Betsy’s funeral will held at 2:00 p.m. Thursday, March 9, 2023, at Christ Episcopal Church on Capitol Square at 120 East Edenton Street, Raleigh, NC 27601. A celebration of her life will be held at a later date.

Memorial contributions may be made to UNC Greensboro, PO Box 26170, Greensboro, NC 27402-6170.

A service of Bryan-Lee Funeral Home, Raleigh. Online condolences may be made at www.bryan-leefuneralhome.com