Frances Cheek Stains

Today we celebrate the life of Frances Cheek Stains, who was proud to be 98 years old, and enjoyed hearing “you cannot be 98!”. She was born and raised in Goldston, NC, by parents Alma and Troy Cheek, then lived in Raleigh NC, Lawrence KS, Carbondale IL, Garner NC, and in Raleigh NC again at the end of her life.

Frances met and married Howard Stains while he was in school at NCSU. She graduated from business school and worked at Durham Life in Raleigh. They moved to Lawrence, Kansas, for Howard to complete his schooling, and Frances worked to support them during this time. They moved to Carbondale, Illinois, for Howard’s teaching career at Southern Illinois University, and this is where they raised their family: Sheila, Terry, and James.

Frances was organized, frugal, and fun. She managed the household, keeping an immaculate home and a beautiful yard. She loved flowers and gardening, growing vegetables that she would can and freeze. She made both jellies and our clothes when we were young. She insisted on cleaning her own gutters until the girls forced her to stop in her 80’s! (She would occasionally feed us beef tongue and liver… not our favorite…) She enjoyed looking for special finds at yard sales and thrift stores, and loved a good sale anywhere. Her career at Sears in Customer Service spanned several years in Carbondale, IL, and Raleigh, NC. She enjoyed cooking and entertaining and trying new recipes. Her tables had lovely centerpieces that she made from scratch. Her home was filled with fun little treasures that brought her great happiness.

Preparing food for family and friends was a source of joy and a way to show her love – we have many wonderful memories with food: coconut cake, Cornish hens, Rice a la Kikie, pot roast for Trevor and Sheila, homemade catsup and pickles and jelly… We also carry on that expression of love with our family get togethers for meals and loving the fun of the gatherings.

Frances was kind, and thoughtful. She enjoyed having company, and was a great listener. We always had supper together and she encouraged us to talk. She was a sounding board for problems and gripes, and hearing our hopes and dreams. Friends would come to visit and would leave feeling better and loved.

Frances was a force: strong, dedicated, moral, with great conviction and sense of duty to others. When Howard became sick, Frances stopped working outside the home, and focused on being his caregiver, a full time act of love and compassion. Even when he moved into permanent care, she would go every day, ensuring he looked good; shaving him and combing his hair.

Frances was happy with and proud of our individual families – she loved Sheila’s husband, Mike Waldroup, and Terry’s husband, Dan Queen. Frances loved her grandson, Trevor Ramp (Kelly) and her great grandchildren Griffin and Charlotte. She also loved her three step grandsons Matt Queen, Brian Queen (Carrie) and their children Avery and Ayden, and Jason Queen (Tara) and their children Jackson and Jocilyn.

Frances enjoyed others, had a good sense of humor, and loved her family, loved her extended family, and loved her friends. We will miss her, but we will hold her close in our hearts.

Frances was preceded in death by her husband, Howard James Stains, and her son, James Warren Stains. She was also the last surviving child of Alma and Troy Cheek’s eight children.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the American Diabetes Association, NC Multiple Sclerosis Association, or Mountain Top Youth Camp in her honor.